so for all this time, why does one without hope push on? Why does he achieve? Why does he scale new heights?

Because he has not given up. By losing hope, the belief is there that there is an insignificant probability of success(the nature of which he knows not himself) and thus it would be foolish to expect to gain success through action.


He works because it is right. It is right to attain this success, though all high mountains will crumble.


The objective is the goal. The process is a separate matter. And in the end, I cannot say that I have not tried. Just because something is impossible does not mean it should not be dreamed of. Man has dreamed of flight for centuries, yet only decades have passed since we sent some of our own into space. And the worthiness of the goal is undeniable - hopeless though it was to the many generations that came before. Still they tried. Still I will try. I have no hope for success. But I have the tiniest of chances at success. And to not take that chance is foolishness.


Hence, the secondary aims of a clean sweep of As in the exams, and to become a good musician; though the primary is almost undoubtedly beyond me.


I ask that what I write not be questioned. Some I just know, though the explanation is beyond me; some I still question myself. Unless one can deduce something from these woefully inaccurate scribbles, there is no question that can be asked that I have an answer to.


I shall await death.


I did not say that I would do so quietly and unresistingly.