A few words and then I'm back to work.


The feeling of having to finish last minute work on a tight deadline really sucks. After this I'm going to go take a bit of a rest and then come back(yeah, like I've been doing a lot of the day but it JUST DOESN'T HELP.)


what I have lost, they have found(I guess.)


I would be looking forward to practising those variations A LOT MORE if it wasn't for those stupid As. I'm trying to write calmly but still visibly irritated, unfortunately... the fun in life's doing what you want to do and well... yes I am, sort of, but in a really distorted fashion that isn't at all palatable to me.


I don't intend to feel the pressure, but I can't help but wonder WHY ON EARTH I'm the flagbearer.


That's four flags already: one for the Lees, one for the Ongs(my mum's family), one for HC Strings(all of them) and one for all cellists.


For the first, it's a matter of upholding the incredible reputation of us all being top students. Maybe it's because every single one of my father's siblings teaches. Except for himself, and then I'm left by myself. Never mind the fact that some are musically talented to boot...(note: I do not consider myself musically talented; if so, only to a small degree.)


For the second, it's a matter of trailblazing. I set the benchmark, and everyone attempts to follow. And I didn't realise it at the time, but I think it was partially my fault that my elder cousin(not too good at studying, but a good guy) fell out of favour(well, not totally but out of top spot for a while) with my grandmother.


The four As are not for myself. They are proof not only of my ability(who gives a shit about my own ability) but also of everything behind me that has created that ability(that, I cannot let down.)


OK. Back to work later.