somehow, I only manage to get going when I'm faced with impending doom.

and efficient idiot I am, I manage to get it all done well in time - though not always well - and if it was well, I actually go around being proud of it.

Stupidity.

It's been a busy day - sending off the family's domestic help at the airport, borrowing scores at durian, stopping by to pick up a recording of the Beethoven cello sonatas by Qin Li-Wei before the library opened - it's earlier than I usually get up, and it felt like afternoon already, and even though the 3/4-awake me was fully aware of the time, my unconscious was still going "where are all the people?" Or rather my semi-conscious, because i did notice that. Walking through an empty place that's usually filled always gives me a sense of being the last one standing, the only survivor, if not the last one alive then the last one to remain committed, while everyone walks away.

I do like to hold on to the past.

I've been told his performance was superb - hence the purchase even though I already have Rostropovich's version. Had lunch with the family, went to see Mingxi about my cello - and it was pretty simple to fix the rattling c-string, he said - only requires one day so I'll bring it back some other time.

I fight off exhaustion really well. Experienced, after all. Although I do get tired too easily.

Met some good friends for dinner, enjoyed it, went for rehearsal where I majorly screwed up the solo(principal cellist wasn't present and I filled in), dropped them off at a bus stop. A little bit of light there.

and where's the cello talk?

and where's the talk of greater things?

where are the lessons I've learnt?

I'll quit before I start stoning myself; these posts do change mood very fast! I guess it's not good to put the first one on my LJ account yet - which I will use in the day I feel I've become a happier person, through my own skill or viewpoints.

Ah yes, the overseas trip.
It totally screws up all my plans, forcing me to put them into action earlier(like they wouldn't have screwed up due to my own laziness anyway.)

Paraphrasing the Lord of the Rings, in a conversation between Frodo and Sam: the adventurer doesn't put himself forward, he's put forward by others and has to make the best out of it.

Is success and momentary joy better... or failure, knowledge, and depression?

All in all, another day abstracted from the physical world. It's a pretty effective(and perhaps overused) defence mechanism.