Where there is hope, there is possibility.

If you give up hope, there is no more possibility of revival.

There is always hope. The very minute chance that things will change for the better will be there if you keep on trying.

You speak of the fall of a dynasty. It pains me too; but, well... it's change. And it may be change for the worse for us who lived in the closest thing to utopia I've seen, but not for others.

Is it just our viewpoint? What's screwed to us may not be screwed to everyone else.

I'm not giving up hope; I'm going to try and push things back to what they were.

The scarier thing is that I may be considered to be impeding progress.

Really, what is good for an ensemble? How much can be expected out of it? And are we entirely responsible for what is happening?

Somehow, I don't think so. But we all contribute to the situation. An ensemble is one entity after all. Like it or not, if you want to be a part of HCSE, then you're stuck together with the rest of us, and we all influence each other.

So what exactly is the goal of HCSE? To make good musicians of all of us? To win glory for our school? Or for ourselves? To create an interest in music among us? To teach us the basics of ensemble playing? Or are we looking at something else called teamwork, leaving the quality of work to be less relevant? Or just for something called CCA points? I dread the day when people pick up activities just for the piece of paper, just for the marks on that sheet.

I feel, as I've said in my QM speech and other times before, that the string family has created my entire life, and I owe you all a debt almost unrepayable. And the option of quitting is not open to me, even if I wanted to. I don't like to leave debts unpaid.

In the end I'm just left with an uncomfortable silence. I don't know what to think, only that things have changed - in a manner not to my, and your liking. Nothing else is clear.

We sit on the possibility and ongoing occurrence of supposedly natural polarisation, and I wonder if I am moving too much towards the other end of the undefined spectrum - in an effort to understand it better and to pull everything back into the shape it once was.

I hope for hope still.