back again

I need somewhere to throw out my thoughts.

Everywhere else is too public, nowhere is really safe.

But back here I am, in the still-standing but deserted house of the past.

-disconnection-


 i'm trying; but it's all fading, 

and it's back to oblivion for me; 

 only this time I will know. 

 and I won't be caring, even though I know I should 

even though I'll still be trying to do the right thing; 

but only because the right things should be done; 

 and i wanted so much more 

 far beyond what i could see

how much of a chance have I given up 

and the music I seek seems to lie not in the professional realm, nor in the amateur. 

I am a lone seeker. and searching for my answers; 
and until then will I ever be alone, alone but for God; 
and I pray that He will guide my footsteps and my actions; 
and that He will reveal all in due time. 

until then, I wander. 


 ------------------------- 


Medicate me 
Science failing 
Conscience fading fast 
Can't you stop what's happening 

A higher dosage he prescribes 
But there's no guarantee 
I feel it starting to take over me 
I tell him not to be ashamed 
There's no one who's to blame 
A second shot 
A brief awakening 

I feel the relapse 
Can't break free 
Eyes open 
But not getting through to me